What are you talking about, will your group build you up?

I think that I haven't met anyone or heard of anyone who is not going through or went through something tough in their life. From the moment we are born nothing is easy or straight forward, we are all finding a way that helps us on our journeys.

A carer or someone living with a disability has their own additional challenges, which I have spoken of multiple times in past articles that give you an idea of just what these may be. I have also spoken of forming groups or even individual friendships if that is the only possibility, that help you to get off your island.

The thing I never really looked at or given more detail to was about the type of people to surround yourself with. I do not want to sound like a life coach but rather I want to guide you to some path of positive reality without forgetting what you are facing.

What are you talking about?

Not me, you! Let's face it, when you get beaten up about something, you want to tell someone, get it off your chest, and hope they can relate to it and you can find an outcome or the solution you need.

What if the person you are talking to can relate to it and then starts telling you about this thing that has also troubled them up in the past or is currently troubling them? Good now you can both relate to each other, so what next? They continue and then you continue and so forth until at the end you are both left shaking your heads at this horrible terrible time you are both having. After that you both leave uninspired, even more beaten up and nothing is resolved and the next time you meet it would likely be a similar story.

We have all seen it, in school, at the office and elsewhere, gathering in small groups, just talking away about how terrible things are and how nothing is working, day in day out.

So what do you suggest?

Go on what I am saying here, is this going to be some positive mental spiel where we should pretend everything is nice and rosy and save the bad stuff for indoors. Not at all, absolutely not!! Do that at your peril.

Let me give you this example. I meet a group of parents from Luis' school at least once month if we can, for coffee at one of our local cafes. The size changes, sometimes there are three of us and at other times six or seven, so the conversations vary greatly. Our conversations can range from serious to very funny within the time we are there, discussing our children and the challenges with them, their schools, fighting to get simple things done, when things are working well, recommending things to do, answering each others questions and other things about life in general.

One thing I can tell you is that we do not walk away feeling down or feeling like we do not need to meet each other again. Quite the opposite we cannot wait for the next, and the more we meet the easier it is to discuss any subject.

Conclusion

We all need someone to talk to so choose wisely. There are people who help keep you down as they enjoy not being the only one having a difficult time, or enjoying having someone else's business to talk about. Then there are others who can have the difficult conversation, but somehow find a way that makes the situation lighter or offer a suggestion that may be just what you were looking for.

Having people you can talk to is great, also having them from different backgrounds can be an eye opener and really add a different dimension to your current thinking. Remember we are all facing something in life, so when you choose to share it, choose carefully who you want to open up to and look for those who can help build you up and in turn you can help them.